“Red Sox, not State”; Or, “No, the W on the Red Cap does NOT stand for Shrub, it stands for the Nationals.”

Aaron F****n Boone signs with the Nats.

I’m not cheering for him EVER. I don’t care if he puts the damn NATS into the World Series this time. I don’t care if he hits .600/.800/3.000, saves 50 kitties and puppies, cures cancer, and discovers cold fusion. I’m still rooting for his WELL-EARNED and PERMANENT retirement.

Lastings Milledge from the Mets for Brian Schneider and Ryan Church!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ll miss you Officer Schneider, but our new cleanup hitter will soften the loss. And Ryan Church….I think you’re a total idiot, but not actually a malicious guy. That said, I’d rather have Milledge over you 5 million times over. Make that 5 billion times over.

So Omar Minaya leaves Flores unprotected in the Rule 5 draft, which allows us to steal him, which allows us to make this trade (aka heist) in the first place. THANK YOU, Sir. May I have a pony as well? Or a nice new car?

C - Flores

1B - Young

2B - Belliard

3B - Zimmerman

SS - Guzman

(yes, I’m leaving Lopez off)

LF - Pena

CF - Milledge

RF - Kearns

I do not hate this starting lineup. I *really* don’t hate a 3-4-5 of Zim, Milledge, and Wily Mo. It depends on a lot, don’t misunderstand. Milledge and Wily Mo have to fulfil their potential, and Zim has to continue to improve. But I’m excited.

And I have to say it: Good Job, Trader Jim Bowden.

Zim breaks a bone in his wrist.

Get well soon, and without lingering effects. We NEED you, babe.

First off, congratulations to the Washington Nationals. They are at 72-87, which is *more* wins than last year. Sweet!

Then there’s the Red Sox. We’ve clinched (yes yes yes yes yes!) The magic number for the division is 2. I’m a bit concerned - the Yankees are not going to lose again this year (the Orioles? Please.) We’ve got Dice-K tomorrow (we need a good outing please,) Wake on Sat, and Schilling on Sun. Sunday shouldn’t be a problem - Curt is in full post-season form and Garza is fine like most Twins starters are (wow that scouting staff,) but nothing special. Not Santana, or Liriano for that matter (remember him?) Dice-K…who knows. Wake….really who knows. The bad stretch is due to come to an end. Just in time, right? 2 out of 3 is needed. It’s definitely doable, I’m just not sure we’ll actually do it. We should, but we’ll see. The problem is the one we had tonight - the Twins have an elite closer. This is not Al Reyes (that schmuck), Joe Nathan can pitch. He’s hung with Mo in the past as the best closer in the AL, and I suspect the reason we haven’t heard much about him this year is because the Twins have gone nowhere. So all of a sudden 9th inning comebacks are a problem. Witness tonight. Gardenhire is not stupid, and there’s nothing to save Nathan for. He’ll bring him out for 4 outs. Of course there’s nothing to risk his arm for either.

Or we can solve the problem by scoring lots of runs early, and never see Nathan again this year. I like that idea better.

Smashing. The temptation to light oneself on fire is nigh indescribable. Or better yet, light the Red Sox on fire. I understand there are laws against that sort of thing though, so I suppose we’ll refrain.

See, it’s only fun having a spoiler when it’s the Nats going against the Mets. NOT when it’s the Blue Jays against us.

Yep, *that’s* the way to break up a losing streak.

I’ve never watched a no-hitter all the way through, and I wasn’t watching baseball the last time the Red Sox had a no-no (Derek Lowe in 2002, against Tampa Bay.) I always vaguely have the sense of a no-hitter until the first hit actually happens, but of course I don’t take it seriously until after the 6th or so. So the first time I was really excited this game was the Ortiz double off of the wall in the 4th.
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Clearly I am not a prognosticator. SUCK ASS. THIS BLOODY WELL SUCKED.

Nats get swept? Hey, we weren’t going anywhere anyway. RED SOX get swept?*Problematic.* I called the Detroit branch of my baseball crew, and we vented on the phone for a while. So I *feel* better. Until I look at the box scores again.

On the plus side, that little worthless schmuck Joba has a new nickname (we love you, Josh Beckett.)

Oh, and ten points to my brother for identifying the musical theatre reference. Yes, it was from Avenue Q. He wins a set of steak knives, as soon as I get some.

10 points to the first person to identify the title quote.

Fun times:Tigers 16, Yankees 0.

Even more fun times: Nats 3, Dodgers 2. (Knock on wood, so far so good.) His post-season chances be damned, when Nomar isn’t playing I actively root against the Dodgers. And of course they’re playing the Nats, so I’d be rooting against them anyway. It’s a relief really - it feels utterly, completely, and totally unnatural to in *any* way be cheering for Grady Little’s success.

Interesting thought: if we win tonight (and I’m by no means saying we will,) a sweep of the Blue isn’t wholly out of the question. Bergmann vs Billingsley is on Tues, and Billingsley is okay, but not wonderful. If Bergmann is on form I think we can grab that one. Wed is Penny vs Hill, and *that* is a marquee matchup. Penny is the ace of the Dodgers staff, but Hill is the ace of our staff. The Dodgers offense certainly isn’t setting the world afire, and we might be able to break through.

This isn’t at all likely, mind you. I think lack of homefield advantage would tell in this case, and Saito has been more consistent that Cordero. But it’s possible.

Edit - And we’re tied. Yeah, that didn’t last long. Come on Nats!

Edit part two - And there went the lead. Now was that nice, Jesus Colome?

Ladies and gentlemen, your FOURTH PLACE Washington Nationals!

Take that, Florida! We’re on your tail, Atlanta!

Unsurprisingly, we’re getting some help from Wily Mo. I was very pleased with the trade; I think it’s going to help both teams. Red Sox had no place for Wily Mo - we’re not sitting Manny or Papi, and we tried WMP in that big RF. It failed. A lot. (And we have Drew, who will be better next year. I hope.) And we got some power from the Nats (via Arizona) which is what we don’t have in the Boston minors. Come to that, it’s why we traded for Wily Mo in the first place.

From ESPN:

“A dejected Franklin, who allowed four runs and seven hits in just 1 1/3 innings in the two losses this weekend, tried to infer that the Nationals were simply lucky.

‘And again he gets a hit, so I can’t do anything about that. I can’t hang my head and say I made a mistake or anything,” Franklin said. “We’ll see how long that lasts — see how long that they keep getting broken-bat hits and ground balls in the hole. It will even out.’”

Meeeeeeow. Somebody’s a little bitter, isn’t he. On the one hand, congratulations Mr. Franklin. You’ve just encapsulated the concept of BABIP, an actual useful baseball stat. On the other hand, sore losers are so unattractive . And a gentle little hint - Ryan Zimmerman is a better hitter than you are a pitcher. If he weren’t, you’d be a starter and not a 34 year old middle reliever. He’s a 22 year old future all-star. Guess who’s gonna win that battle? Wait, we don’t have to. You’ve already given up two game changing hits to our number 11 just this past weekend. Cheers and tally-ho, Mr. Franklin.